Dolly Parton & Sylvester Stallone in... Rhinestone

HBO's been showing Rhinestone a lot lately, a movie I'd never heard of but was immediately drawn to after reading the on-screen synopsis: "A country singer (Dolly Parton) bets her considerable virtue she can make a New York cabby (Sylvester Stallone) a star in only two weeks."

Singin' in the Rain it is not. Stallone won two Razzies for it, one for his general performance and another for the brief but ridiculous musical number "Drinkin'stein." He also co-wrote the screenplay, so he can be credited with most of what went wrong here.

I do give the movie credit for one thing, though. I kept expecting Stallone's character to make a remarkable turnaround and suddenly produce an incredible singing voice in a feat of movie magic. But he sucks the whole time, eventually winning the (inexplicably discriminating midtown-Manhattan country music–loving) crowd over with his charisma rather than his pipes. This at least makes for a more enjoyable finale.

But it also makes for a weak soundtrack album. Dolly Parton wrote some great songs for this flick, the best of which are the entendre-laden lovers' duets that are unjustly presented here only in their laughable Dolly-and-Sly form. I personally got enough of that in the film; I was led to the soundtrack hoping that another male counterpart would be there to bring the songs' clear potential to fruition.

The one song that's strong enough to completely survive this treatment is "Woke Up In Love," included below with "One Emotion After Another," a solo Dolly track that is another highlight from the soundtrack.

It's also worth noting that the aforementioned "Drinkin'stein," a Dolly composition, is actually pretty decent but suffers even further on the soundtrack from the addition of cheesy '80s horror sound effects. Dolly gave it a sporting try herself on the Tonight Show, but the sound effects were unfortunately employed there as well.

Dolly Parton & Sylvester Stallone - Woke Up In Love [mp3] (Amazon)
Dolly Parton - One Emotion After Another [mp3] (Amazon)