Jerry Springer: The Opera

Last Thursday I saw Jerry Springer: The Opera. Now, you might be thinking "that sounds like a bad off off off broadway show." But this was legitimate. It was at Carnegie Hall and starring Harvey Keitel as Jerry Springer (the one and only speaking part). I even saw Neil Patrick Harris in line to pick up his tickets beforehand. It was performing only a two-night run here in New York City. Originating in the UK, it is a bit controversial and has not gotten much stage time here in the good ol' US of A.

The opera started off as everything it should've been. It was funny and campy. The songs were good. The singers were talented. After the chorus sang about wanting to be on TV, the audience warm-up guy came on and got them all psyched. He told them to "aaww" for the good guys and "boo" for the bad guys, which made really good back-up vocals for a lot of the numbers. Clever, very clever. Then the show began with Dwight and his wife Peaches. But Dwight had a secret - he was sleeping with Peaches' best friend, Zandra. Of course there was fighting. And the security guard did a funny little inner monologue song about how girl-fights are the hardest to break up. Then a new secret came out. Dwight was having another affair... with a transvestite! Classic. The transvestite was awesome. He could hit notes as high as Mariah Carey. He sang a sassy little song called "Talk to the Hand." Then there was the commercial break. They had some short little fake commercials that I don't really remember all that well. But they were funny.

Then they brought on a guy who has a diaper/baby/shitting-his-pants fetish. That whole part was a little weird, but very campy and still funny. It was this big black man wearing a giant diaper on stage. I mean, you can't not laugh at that. Next a hick couple comes on and the woman wants to be a pole dancer. Her husband had a great mullet but that's really all I remember about their scenes. The important thing is that it led up to this:

The Ku Klux Klan enters. They all line up in rows and then they start singing "This is My Jerry Springer Moment" and break out into a chorusline dance. I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in my life as when watching the KKK chorusline doing jazz hands and singing "so dip me in chocolate and throw me to the lesbians..."

And that was the end of the first act. Frankly, I wish the play would've ended right there. The first half was perfect except for random moments where a "valkyrie" (wearing a Minnesota Vikings sweatshirt... ggggrrr...) would sing as Jerry's "conscience" and he would get all "introspective." It just didn't work. It was like they were trying too hard to be deep and analyze right and wrong through the Jerry Springer show. Sadly, this is basically all the second half of the show was, as Jerry gets shot, dies and goes to Hell, where he puts on a Jerry Springer episode between the Devil, Jesus and God. There were a few good one-liners and song numbers, but most of the second half just plain sucked. They were so not subtle about the message they were trying to get across - that right and wrong isn't just black and white (oh my goodness! what?! what a revelation! I've never heard that one before!). In fact, they pretty much just stated it outright in really crappy unnatural dialogue.

I think that sticking to satire and poking fun at the absurdity that is the Jerry Springer show would've been a much more subtle commentary on society and "right vs. wrong." It certainly would've been funnier at the very least. Frankly, I wish that the show would've ended with the Ku Klux Klan chorusline.

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